Deana Speaks

Clarity is your best weapon. Lock in.

The psychologyMaladaptive remorse.

Maladaptive remorse: when remorse never becomes accountability

Remorse is supposed to lead to growth… but what happens when ego kills that maturation process?

7 min read
Co-parentingThe narcissists’ twisted framing of child support.

Co-parenting with a narcissist: why asking them to help with their own children becomes an entire conflict

Asking a narcissist to help with their own children can automatically get translated into them helping you “win.”

3 min read
Smear campaignsInteresting. Let me screenshot that.

Why a smear campaign is a gold mine in a legal battle

If you're in a legal battle with a narcissist, the best thing they can do to you is smear campaign you. Seriously.

2 min read
The psychologyShapeshifting Abuse.

The abuse didn’t stop. It pivoted.

The abuse doesn’t necessarily stop when the marriage ends. It pivots toward wherever the leverage is.

5 min read
Smear campaignsDARVO… You're STILL the villain.

How to know your narcissistic ex isn't over you

They're not arguing with you anymore. They're arguing with the meaning of what happened.

1 min read
HealingTruth doesn't expire.

Truth doesn't have an expiration date

Smear campaigns expire. Lies expire. False narratives expire. Truth doesn't.

1 min read
Co-parentingCause and effect is still on.

The deadbeat’s war with cause and effect

There is a particular kind of outrage that happens when someone experiences accountability as persecution.

6 min read
HealingDisconnect their battery pack (YOU).

The ego death of an empath

At some point, you have to confront the possibility that being “the nice one” has become part of your ego too.

2 min read
The psychologyTheir lies require maintenance.

Narcissists are not as smart as they think they are

They fantasize about being smarter than everyone for so long that they begin treating the fantasy like a fact.

1 min read
HealingIs reality based on who they can deceive?

Reality testing after narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse will have you arguing about something you literally watched happen with your own two eyes.

2 min read
Smear campaignsA play you never auditioned for.

Dignity thieves and the stage of illusions

Dignity thieves have an insatiable hunger for big, explosive, almost cartoonish drama where they get to play the victim.

2 min read
Smear campaignsThey're betting nobody will check.

They know you have receipts. They lie anyway.

They're not always betting that the lie is unprovable. They're betting that nobody will bother to prove it.

5 min read
The psychologyMore comfortable with you down.

Why some family members watch you go through abuse and do nothing

Sometimes they're more comfortable with you down than they are with you powerful.

1 min read